Resigned to Realign

 Written by Bonnie Derksen

 “Dear Pastor: After much prayer, we regret to inform you we will be resigning from…”

It was a hard letter to write. My husband and I had been a part of the church since its beginning; we loved the people and the ministry but we were burnt out and not able to carry on to the end of the ministry year. Trusted counsel suggested we step back from church attendance and so we entered a sabbatical with the purpose of restoration and realignment with the Lord.

The intended length of resignation was six months, but as the Okanagan moved from summer to fall, we were far from “stepping back in.”

For twenty-eight years our identity had been wrapped up in belonging to and supporting our local church; now we struggled with the disconnection, feeling like an island. We had unplugged and seemed helpless to plug back in.

We committed to apply the principles of Proverbs 3:5-6.  We chose not to rely on our circumstances and feelings, determining to trust the Lord for direction and insight. We experienced peace as we rested, but did not receive the “re-entry” plan we hoped for.

That December the Lord gave simple instruction to my husband: “Call John Baergen.”  From that call came a meeting and then an invitation to attend an Encounter God Retreat.

Admittedly, I was skeptical. Over the period of disconnect from our church, now nearing ten months, the results of ministry-meltdown had reinforced a need to self-protect. We faced several significant challenges in our lives and the thought of attending another retreat seemed trite and impractical.

Thankfully, the Lord knew the deep desire of our hearts and was persistent. John’s invitation seemed to morph into an invitation from Jesus to receive a new and fresh touch for the next season of our lives.  

The retreat proved to be the next step in our process of realignment – Jesus was everywhere.

The retreat hosts welcomed us with genuine enthusiasm. The worship was like a refreshing spring rain to our dried and cracked hearts. The gentle, Truth-filled teaching sessions agreed with beliefs we had embraced for many years. The process of listening prayer exposed misconceptions and lies, uprooted patterns of sin and reinstated our position as children of the King. 

In the sanctuary of this setting, the Holy Spirit met me at a great point of need. I received perspective regarding a reason for my burnout and brokenness. Taking me back to a high school memory, He replaced the lie I had believed for over thirty years with Truth that set me free to just be me. Hope for a healthier season of ministry washed away the resentment and bitterness that had reinforced a need to protect and defend.

It would be wonderful if all it took was the realization, confession and declaration to walk in complete freedom and fullness from then on.  As we all know, however, the life as a Christ-follower is a process of “working in and walking out” the transforming truth of God’s love. This is where we have seen the blessing and benefit of the Village atmosphere.

The Village is structured to resemble, in a condensed format, the atmosphere of the retreats. Worship, teaching session, sharing and listening prayer in small groups reinforce the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It is in this regular weekly setting that I can measure the greatest, consistent pattern of personal healing.

Is it different than any other small group setting? Likely not, if you gather for intentional, focused prayer with an attitude and expectancy that God will speak. It is in this context, as we meet to support each other in our daily God-encounters, that we celebrate the process of healing and encourage each other to get back to God’s business through the work of the local church.

It’s been quite a journey for my husband and me. A short six-month sabbatical has lasted almost two years and yet in the process we have been given the gift of realignment with our precious Lord and His kids. We are so thankful for His plans for us; plans that have included the Encounter God Retreat and our Village family!